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20 years later.....
Question: I was able to go to the gravesite today and it is such a priviledge to be a part of the group of people who care so much for you, your family and Kait. I tried to write to you , but realize the words did not make much sense as it was emotional time being there. You have had such a tremendous impact on so many people throughout the world with your book about Kait and all the difficulites (to put it mildly) you and your family have endured over the years. It is almost like being a part of huge family that care so much for all of you and will not forget Kait.

I was able and blessed to speak with Pat. She is an exceptional person, you can feel how much she cares just by listening to her, not only about Kait, but about the other cases she is involved with.

May the Lord bless you and continue to give you the strength and peace that you need and so richly deserve. Thanks for sharing a part of your life with us all. I lso ook forward to the day this is solved for you and your family.

Asked on Thursday, July 16, 2009 at 02:26:39 PM
Reply: Thank you for attending Kait's memorial. It was organized by Pat Caristo, our private investigator, who over the many years she's helped us pro bono, has become a beloved friend. You're right, she is exceptional in every way.

Don and I would have given anything to have been there, (we now live on the East Coast, but were planning to fly to Albuquerque to participate), but one of our children had emergency surgery and is here with us now, recuperating in our home. So we didn't have that option. We asked Pat not to try to orchestrate this on her own, as it might prove too much for one person. But she did it anyway. And now we're so glad that she did.

Answered by: Kait's Mom
Question: The message below is from our private investigator, Patricia Caristo, NIA/NM (National Investigations Agency of New Mexico).

Asked on Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 10:43:55 AM

924 Menual Blvd NE
(Section 4X - grass area off Canna Rd, just west of Rose Rd. - second right turn from the main gate)

On July 16th, 1989, Kaitlyn Arquette was chased down in her car and murdered. She died on July 17th, 1989, as a result of the gun shot wounds. In her passing she left her vital organs to several persons - she was caring of people in her life and in her death.

This year, on the 20th anniversary of her murder, I am inviting people who knew Kait, or who helped with information and hours of time working on her case, to visit the Sunset Memorial Park to remember Kait. There will be orange flowers (Kait's favorite color) at the site for you to take with you to thank you for remembering and caring. There will be a guest book to sign, and I will send it to Kait's family who are far away and not able to be in New Mexico at this time.

Visit when you can. I will be at Sunset Memorial Park on 7/16/09, from 10 am - 1 pm. I will be glad to answer questions and provide updates on the case.

It was my thought that there are people who would like to honor and thank Kait for the gifts she left behind -- sweet memories for those who knew her, the organs she donated, the example of her mother and father and family as they fight for justice in Kait's case and continue to fight for justice for so many other families who have lost loved ones to murder, for the many investigative/criminal justice students who leaned to investigate using Kait's case as a learning model and offered their services to Kait's case and to many other unsolved cases, to those law enforcement and criminal justice people who offered to help make truth known, for the many young people who learned about what happened to Kait and talked about the case at schools, and for the many mothers who took comfort and example from Kait's mother.

Pat Caristo

Answered by: Kait's Parents
Who Killed My Daughter
Question: Has Americas Most Wanted ever contacted you wanting to air your story? Has anything come of making a movie out of the book.

Thank You,
Muncie, Indiana

Asked on Thursday, July 09, 2009 at 12:11:32 PM
Reply: "America's Most Wanted" will only feature a case if the police are willing to cooperate. So that show is not an option for us.

I've been approached by a movie producer about filming Kait's story. I don't yet know what will come of this.

Answered by: Kait's Mom
Question: Have you asked dung again about the peorson who might have killed your daugther? Have you seen him in 2009?

Asked on Thursday, July 09, 2009 at 11:29:30 AM
Reply: I haven't seen him since 1989.

Answered by: Kait's Mom
video about Kait?
Question: How can I view the video about Kait?

Asked on Sunday, July 05, 2009 at 10:10:06 AM
Reply: Go back to the home page, scroll down below the photo of me with Kait when she was 12, and click on "Click to Play."

Answered by: Kait's Mom
Was Damon Fay involved in Kait's investigation?
Question: If so that would be another link between the murders of Kait and Stephen Haar.

Asked on Saturday, July 04, 2009 at 02:21:50 PM
Reply: Damon Fay was not the lead detective on Kait's case. However, to quote from Mike Gallagher's article in the Albuquerque Journal, "almost every detective in the homicide department was involved in some way in the investigation."

Det. Fay was the detective who told Kait's sister Robin's friend, Maritza, that "the location of a bullet found later, not during the initial investigation, proved that Kait's shooting was not random but was a "hit."

Answered by: Kait's Mom
Was Travis Dally Det. Fay's snitch?
Question: Why else would he protect Dally?

Asked on Friday, July 03, 2009 at 12:41:57 PM
Reply: According to Stephen Haar's mother, Det. Fay did not use the terms snitch or informant when he spoke to her. He said Travis Dally "did favors" for APD.

That wording by Det. Fay is very interesting. If Travis was not a snitch, what other "favors" might he have been doing for APD?

Answered by: Kait's Mom
Det. Damon Fay
Question: Travis Dally, the admitted killer of Stephen Haar, (whose case APD Det. Damon Fay closed without any investigation) has now been found guilty and sentenced to life in prison for the murder of another victim, Henry George. Stephen’s mother, Carmen Haar, was a witness for the prosecution, testifying that Dally also killed her son. If Fay and other APD homicide detectives had followed up on Dally’s murder of Haar, Henry George would be alive today.

Was Stephen Haar’s case linked in any way to Kait’s?

Asked on Friday, July 03, 2009 at 10:41:09 AM
Reply: At the time of his death, Stephen was living at the same address as Kait's next door neighbor, Adrian Apodaca, who told Det. Gallegos that he saw Kait followed from her apartment by a VW bug. That information was in Gallegos's field notes, but not in his report.

Shortly before his death, Stephen attempted to phone our private investigator. He did not leave a message, but his phone number showed up on her answering machine. Before she could get in touch with him, he was murdered.

What had Stephen discovered that he wanted to tell us? That's a question that will always go unanswered.

Our private investigator visited Travis Dally in prison, and he gave her a physical demonstration of how he killed Stephen. He told her, "I shot him five times." One of those shots was in Stephen's back, after he was down. APD had no interest in pursuing that admission.

Answered by: Kait's Mom
dirty cops

Asked on Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 04:37:35 PM
Reply: I don't know what the answer is. Police departments are self-contained and don't seem to have to answer to anybody.

Here is another excerpt from THE TALLY KEEPER:

Albuquerque now had a new mayor, Jim Baca, who was doing his best to deal with the problems he'd fallen heir to. In response to newspaper articles claiming, "The citizens of Albuquerque are afraid of their cops," Mayor Baca imported a new police chief from out of state to replace Joseph Polisar and was attempting to establish a citizen review board for police-misconduct cases.

"The police department has to be accountable to somebody besides themselves,” Baca stated.

The police union was not happy with Mayor Baca's attitude.

Alex Marentas, the president of the Albuquerque Police Officers Association told the media, "If he screws with us, we will do everything possible to defeat him in the next election."

Which they did.

The police union strenuously objected to the idea of a review board. They contended that the internal affairs unit was more than sufficient to deal with charges of misconduct, despite the fact that for the past three years excessive force charges against police officers that were found to have merit had resulted in nothing more than written or oral reprimands.

We've been told that Alex Marentas, in his role as union leader, ws the one who issued the order for union members to "blanket (protect) the officers at Kait's scene."

Answered by: Kait's Mom
Regarding a possible earlier post from Dung.
Question: Question: Subject: Get over it, I killed her. Date: Tue, 08 Dec, 1998, 05:40:48 PST From: \"Dung Nguyen\" (e-mail address)

Hey it\'s me, Would you please stop printing stuff about me!!!!! Everyone thinks I killed Kait. So big deal (my friends) blew the fuck out of her brains. Get over it. She a ugly girl.
Is this really from Dung? I can hardly believe that he sent this to you. And the police did nothing. I wish your family the best of luck and that your case is helping many other families of murder victims.

Asked on Sunday, May 08, 2005 at 11:56:54 AM
Reply: We have no idea if it was really from Dung. Both APD and the FBI told us that determining the source of an e-mail is impossible. When we contacted Hotmail directly, described our dilemma, and asked if it was technically possible to determine the source of the e-mail, they told us they could do that, but only if they received a subpoena from law enforcement. They could not provide information to the murder victim’s parents, as that would violate the self-proclaimed killer’s right to privacy.

I found this post from 2005 and Im just wondering if they have now tracked this message? You said that determining the source of the email is impossible but we know that to be untrue to date. It is very simple to track an email account to a computer and is used to solve many crimes and murders these days. If this is from Dung and he has implicated his friends... dont you think that is pertinent information?

Asked on Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 10:29:23 AM
Reply: Nobody ever was willing to grant Hotmail the authority tell us the source of that e-mail. Now, of course, it's too late. That e-mail address is history.

Answered by: Kait's Mom
Sharon Smith
Question: Ok, thank you, Lois. I didn't even look in the front of the book, I just got right to reading the story. After writing my earlier message, I thought about it and realized that's what you must have done. I really hope you find out all the answers and find justice. One more question I have is why you and your husband didn't sue the APD for negligence in the case? My prayers are with your family.

Asked on Monday, June 22, 2009 at 03:25:54 PM
Reply: Here's an excerpt from THE TALLEY KEEPER that explains that:

Our only hope of obtaining the rest of the crime scene photos seemed to be to file a suit against the police department. So we made a trip to Albuquerque to meet with attorneys who had a history of suing the City to see what our legal options were. We were up front about the fact that our goal was not to get a big settlement, as we didn't like the thought of making money from Kait's death. What we wanted was to take the case to court so we could subpoena copies of the case materials that were being withheld from us.

One attorney after another told us they weren't interested.

The last one we met with was compassionate enough to tell us why.

"No attorney will take on this case with that stipulation,” he said. “True, there are those of us who have built our practices on suing the police, but we always settle out of court. The City has set aside four million dollars per year to settle cases against APD with no admission of wrongdoing. That's the way it's done here."

Answered by: Kait's Mom
Kait Arquette
Question: I just finished the book yesterday and I am astounded that the police didn't care to hear anything about who really killed Kait. I live in Rio Rancho, NM and am afraid to have anything to do with the APD for fear they still have such corrupt officers on the force. How can they chalk it up to random shooting when everything says otherwise and how come nothing was done in the past 18yrs since the book was published? Also, I thought the friend she last saw was Susan Smith, not Sharon Smith.

Asked on Monday, June 22, 2009 at 12:28:45 PM
Reply: Law enforcement in Rio Rancho is no better than APD. Go to and scroll down to the John Sherman case. It's unbelievable.

You're right. In my book I changed the names of a couple of Kait's friends, Sharon being one of those. I state in the front of the book: "Several names have been changed to protect sources of information whose identities are not part of the public record." When I changed Sharon's name to "Susan," I assumed her only role was an innocent by-stander. I realized later that she played a bigger part in this story than we'd originally thought, so on this Web site I've used her real name. That way, if she shared information with someone who visits this Web site, that person will know to contact us.

Answered by: Kait's Mom
Kait Arquette
Question: My name is Natalie and I was a classmate of Kait's at HIghland HS and still remember her fondly. I last saw her the day we graduated and feel, in addition to losing a friend, we all lost our innocence the day she was taken away. I know I have never been the same and I cannot imagine your pain. I admire your strength and tenacity in the pursuit of justice and the truth. I wish you all the best and that someday the murderer will be brought to justice and you will find peace. Your book was wonderful and I applaud you for your work.

Asked on Sunday, June 21, 2009 at 08:06:30 PM
Reply: What a lovely note, Natalie! Thank you. Kait's sister, Kerry, made that same statement to me -- "We didn't just lose Kait, we lost our innocence."

Answered by: Kait's Mom
I am so sorry.
Question: Dear Mrs. Arquette,
I read your book "Who Killed My Daughter" and I was quite interested. I have been following the case since I read it two years ago. I am so very sorry for your loss, I can't imagine how painful it must be for you knowing that her killer is still on the loose. I fully agree with you that she was not just randomly shot. The ironic thing is that I relate to Kait a lot. I remember posting once before but I could not find my message to see how you responded. I live in Texas and wish to work with murder cases when I graduate from high school. I am currently 13 but am very interested in your daughter's case. I would love to help in any way that is possible. You can reach me at I wish you the best of luck in finding your daughter's killer.
with hope,

Asked on Saturday, June 13, 2009 at 04:33:35 PM
Reply: Thank you for caring, Kait. I pray that a career in law enforcement won't harden you and change your compassionate nature.

Answered by: Kait's Mom
Question: I'm a former student of your magazine writing class at UNM. Even though I\'m now out here in Arizona, I try to keep abreast of any developments in Kait\'s murder. You and your family are always in my thoughts and I certainly hope you can find closure soon. [from: Richard W. Kimball]

Asked on Wednesday, June 10, 2009 at 09:46:00 AM
Reply: Teaching that course at UNM was one of the most fulfilling things I've ever done. To be able to share what I'd learned through life experience with bright, motivated students was a joy and a privilege. Your message means a lot to me.

Answered by: Kait's Mom
re: Teresa Reyes on
Question: I noticed you have mentioned this missing persons name a couple of times on the board. Went to 11 dead bodies on West Mesa in Albuquerque and saw that the investigators have indentified 7 of them. Do you have info that Teresa Reyes might be one of the bodies that they haven't discovered the identity of? Do you have gut feeling that one of them might be Teresa Reyes?

Asked on Friday, June 05, 2009 at 01:07:38 PM
Reply: My gut feeling is that Teresa may not be one of those women, because the timing is a little bit off. The others all seem to have been killed within a certain time span, and Teresa disappeared slightly before that. The reason I keep mentioning it is because I know Teresa's mother and all she has been through, and my heart is breaking for her. I both feared and hoped that one of those bodies might turn out to be Teresa's because (1) if it wasn't, then the mother could still hope, but (2) if it was, the mother could let go and finally know where her child was. To my mind, worse than having your child murdered is having your child vanish and not knowing what terrible things might be happening to her/him.

Answered by: Kait's Mom
Still Awed
Question: I am completely in awe of how many man hours have been placed into finding the person who killed and buried many women on the west side of Albuquerque, however, Kait's murder or murders have never been looked for. Growing up and living in Albuquerque and have read your book and being a young girl when Kait was murdered I must say that as a teen I was always more careful of those I hung out with and who I let into my life. I am sorry for your lose and I thank you for keeping this case in the spot light as much as possible and i hope one day some one will pay for what they have taken from you and your family.

(From: Kathryn in Albuquerque)

Asked on Sunday, May 31, 2009 at 08:28:33 PM
Reply: I'm glad effort is being invested in identifying the bodies of the many young women buried on the mesa and in searching for their killer. But I wish that that same kind of effort had been made when they started to go missing. If so, there might not have been so many of them.

I hope you will visit the Web site at and read the Teresa Reyes missing persons case. Tereas's body is not one of those that has been identified, but tomorrow it may be. Teresa's mother has lived through hell for many years.

Answered by: Kait's Mom
Question: I've read through a few of these comments, and there seems to be a lot of uncertainty when it comes to the loyalties of Sharon. But when Noreen Renier became Kait, she says that Sharon was a good friend to her. Does this mean that Kait might not know exactly what happened to her and who the ones responsible are? Was Sharon married at the time Kait was murdered? And after that, how long did Sharon keep her snow cone cart?

Asked on Sunday, May 31, 2009 at 03:52:28 PM
Reply: That's how I would interpret it. At the time of her death, Kait did consider Sharon a good friend.

Sharon was legally married but separated from her husband, Blake Smith.

Sharon gave up her snow cone business immediately after the shooting and applied for a job at Pier One Imports, where Kait had been working as the manager of imported clothing.

Answered by: Kait's Mom
Your book
Question: I hope I can read the book on your daughters murder soon because I have read some of your books and I think this book will be great for me to read and understand what you went through because I feel that you should not gone through that. And I wish to tell you I am currently in middle school. Do you know where I might find a copy of it?

Marna Girl

Asked on Friday, May 22, 2009 at 07:28:14 PM
Reply: If WHO KILLED MY DAUGHTER? is not in your library, the paperback edition can be ordered from on-line book stores like

Answered by: Kait's Mom
What happened to Roch Hart?
Question: That detective Roch Hart who started posting here very hostile because somebody has posted about his being forced out of APD and he then started giving you advise like he was Kait's best friend hasn't posted for a long time. Why did he drop out?

Asked on Friday, May 22, 2009 at 03:13:38 PM
Reply: A poster below said, " I found that the people who should talk, don't. And the ones that should be quiet, cloud the issues."

It's possible that ex-detective Hart falls into that second category. His suggestion that we demand that Kait's body be exhumed to determine whether the Medical Investigator was protecting Kait's killers would have caused us to appear insane.

Answered by: Kait's Mom

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